Shimmer
by sparkiE1
Summary: Tom Riddle learns what it means to love, and then lose it all.... Songfic to Fuel's Shimmer (inside, it will say 'Shimmer' by Eve6. Ignore my stupidity.) A bit fluffy, with inaccurate things about Gypsies, which I will rewrite soon!


*Disclaimer* All characters belong to J.K. Rowling except for Esmeralda, whom, I guess, belongs to me. The song 'Shimmer' belongs to Eve6.  
  
*Author's Note* Another one of my whacked Songfics. I like this song. But the first lyric doesn't fit right, 'cause they're talking but not talking on a phone.... oh well. Another one of my mishaps, I suppose. Enjoy my fic, and I'll.... er... love you forever, I guess ^^;; Oh, Tom's so cute. He talks like the way I think. And.... MWHAR!!! Yes, I will introduce the little girl, at the end of the story, in the third set of my chaptered fan fics. Betcha can't guess what her name will be.... (hint: She has a nickname and a real name. Her real name is told in me ficcy, this one.) 'Kay?  
______________________________________________________________________________________  
  
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-  
  
She calls me on the phone,  
  
Just when I was low, feeling short of stable,  
  
And all that she intends  
  
And all she keeps inside, isn't on the label  
  
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-  
  
Maybe I should worry about Esmeralda.  
  
I worry about myself a lot, though. Not about what I look like; I could really care less. But I care about my sanity. Sometimes I think I'm going insane, or sometimes I'm just in an angry mood. I look like I could take care of myself. I don't think I can, really. Because I'm the mad boy with a brilliant mind and cold glare, the boy with no parents. But they think I can take care of myself.  
  
Esmeralda looks like she couldn't take care of herself. Like a wild animal, trapped in an icy cage with chilling, dripping freezing bars, wearing away on her dark skin. But she can take care of herself.  
  
But maybe I should still worry about her, because you never know with Esmeralda. She has a true gift for keeping her emotions secret, and for all we know she could be very insecure. I doubt it.  
  
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-  
  
She says she's ashamed  
  
And she can take me for a while  
  
And I can be a friend; we'll forget the past,  
  
But maybe I'm not able  
  
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-  
  
When I first met Esmeralda, truth be told, I was scared of her. Her nature was fiery, and her dark eyes fierce. I avoided her for perhaps the first few semesters, until I finally took notice in her.  
  
It wasn't because she was pretty, because she was possibly the most attractive female in Hogwarts at the time. It was because of her fascinating background.  
  
Esmeralda's parents were gypsies. They had settled here after moving from Italy... or was it France? I'm not really quite sure, but her history really amazes me.  
  
Her mother was murdered, accused of witchcraft. Sort of funny, once you think about, because she was truly a witch. But they accused her of black magic. And so she was killed. Her father is almost always in mourning, but Esmeralda is tough. She can take care of herself, but I can't take care of myself. She was 17, while I was 16.   
  
Besides Audree Ollen, another Slytherin outcast, like us, she is what I might consider a friend. I don't really care for other people except for them, because, like me, they are outcasts. But Esmeralda longs for that popularity, like what I shun. She's ashamed of herself.  
  
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-  
  
And I break at the bend,  
  
We're here and now, but will we ever be again  
  
'Cause I have found,  
  
All that shimmers in this world is sure to fade  
  
Away again  
  
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-  
  
"Esmeralda?" my words were drifted helplessly into the fire, past her.  
  
She was curled up in a chair, reading a book. Her wild, dark hair matched with her tawny brown skin perfectly, and thick, golden bracelets clung to her small wrists. Her body was made to fight, and so was her mind. She knew that everything good in life was too good to last, and so, she kept that in her mind, also.  
  
She is lost in the book, and I am lost in the wondering that perhaps, this friendship that we've made, will fade, like all good things. I'd feel broken and dried out, if she left me.  
  
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-  
  
She dreams the champagne dream,  
  
Strawberry surprise, pink linen with white paper,  
  
Lavender and cream  
  
Fields of butterflies, reality escapes her  
  
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-  
  
The one thing she would never tell anyone is that she longed to get married. I didn't really understand that thought at first-she hates anything of romance. All she told me was she just wanted to get married, even if she hated the person she was to wed. Just to be.... married.  
  
She sometimes asked me that after we graduated, if I wanted to marry her. I answered with a blushed face, and a forced, "Sure," and she smiled. She was just joking.... wasn't she? Yes, it was just teasing. But I never forget my promises. I'll never give up vengeance for my mother, and the hatred for my father. And I'll never forget that one, little word: "sure."  
  
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-  
  
She says that love is for fools that fall behind,  
  
And I'm somewhere in-between,  
  
I never really know  
  
A killer from a savior  
  
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-  
  
"Esmeralda, can I ask you a question?" I said suddenly.  
  
She looked up, her dark eyes full of fire, but the kind I was used to. She tossed her long hair out from her and replied, "Go ahead."  
  
"If you want to get married, would you love that person? I mean.... all you say you want to do is marry. But you'd you love your husband?"  
  
Esmeralda got that all knowing look on her face. I believed I was about to receive a blade of her machete tongue. "Well.... Tom, you don't understand love. I'm sure that if your parents were here-no offense-you still wouldn't understand it. You've only gotten love from me, Audree and your cat. However, it is a friendship love, not a parenting or a lover's love. If you were to meet someone that promised to love you, you'd take that, regardless of the person. Do you understand?"  
  
"Yes... but.... my question was...." I stuttered, complete of knowing what she meant, but in the wrong way. She hadn't quite answered me correctly.  
  
Something flashed in Esmeralda's eyes, reflecting the rest of her soul. "If I were to marry you, which, I think, you've agreed to, I would love you in a friendship way. So, the answer is yes, I would."  
  
Somewhat disappointed, I nodded, turning to look back into the dancing flames of the fire, warmer yet farther than what I saw in Esmeralda.  
  
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-  
  
And I break at the bend  
  
We're here and now, but will we ever be again,  
  
Cause I have found  
  
All that shimmers in this world is sure to fade away....  
  
Again  
  
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-  
  
^*^*^*^*^*^12 YEARS LATER^*^*^*^*^*^  
  
Pain. Pain is a force to powerful, and so undeniable, it buries itself deep within the human soul and awakens when that one human has realized to let go of that pain. I had never, never known such pain.  
  
I was sitting in The Riddle House, a home that once held my father and his parents, where at the age of 16, I had committed my first murder. Outside, the world had no idea that I was locked away in here, holding close to me a small, sleeping infant. She was my child, now, and had been Esmeralda's and mine. But now, she was only mine. Ministry Wizards, suspicious of her practice of the darker arts, had killed Esmeralda. I held our baby close to me now, ready to send her with one of my servants to take her to America, where she would learn to be an orphaned Muggle.  
  
Tonight, I would lose everything I loved. I stood up from where we lay, watching with my blood red cat eyes the cloaked figure walking in. He nodded, a quick, business-like nod, and held out his hands for Sareth Rachel Riddle. Not even crying, though dogs were ripping my mind and heart, I passed her over.  
  
"Good-bye, my dear... I'll see you again someday...." I whispered, watching the figure walk out with Sareth.  
  
In a mangled, furious roar, I hurled myself at the wall, creating a long, jagged cut across my face. It could be cured, easily, but for now I would let it weep the scarlet tears I could not bring myself to cry.  
  
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-  
  
It's too far way for me to hold....  
  
It's too far away....  
  
Guess I'll let it go  
  
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-  
  
^*^*^*^*^*^5 YEARS LATER^*^*^*^*^*^  
  
My eyes opened wearily. I all I could remember was one of my Death Eaters telling me that she was gone. That in immortality, I could have others. I looked up to see a slender, woman figure walk out of the door. For a second, Esmeralda crossed my mind, but I realized it must have been one of my female Death Eaters.  
  
Maybe she was right. Maybe she was right that she had loved me in a friendship way... but I don't believe it. It was a pure, genuine love, pushing me over the edge to love her until she died.   
  
I couldn't grasp her now. She was gone, and Sareth was somewhere out there... All hope wasn't lost, perhaps, but she was.  
  
Esmeralda was gone, and for sometime, I was, too. Sometimes I worry about Esmeralda.... but now, I know that she can take care of herself. And so can I.  
  
_____________________________________________________________________  
  
::looks back at what she's written:: Dear GOD, that was corny. Argh, how could I've written it? Oh, well. It was a good kind of corny... Please review, because then... I'll... um... good luck!... Yes, it is good luck to review with CC and normal reviews, but please, no flames...   
~Milificent  
  
  
  
  



End file.
